Its funny how just a week ago I hated you. How, in my mind, you were to blame for our short comings, for my pain, for my feelings of abandonment and betrayal, but it wasn't. You looked towards the future. Towards new beginnings and new meanings and new I love yous while i stayed in the pass. Looking back on it i remember how i used to tell myself "Just one more night and I'll be ready to walk away." But that night never came, and i kept waiting, one night turned into one week, then one month, then one year... Four years its been now, and though I have met new people, dated new girls, my heart and soul was always yours and for what. In my mind you were perfect, what we had people would make movies out of but it wouldn't matter, cause nothing could suffice to what we had. In reality it was a little above sub par at most. We only ever had one defining moment. In my mind every moment was special. Its funny how what is and what you see its completely different in every aspect.
When I saw my future, I always saw you and I would go blind before i dare to see my future without you, but now I dare to look. I see where I want to be and its the same, the only difference is you aren't by my side.... Is that so bad?
I'm done searching for the life we had before...
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